We live in a time where online dating makes people in different countries more accessible than ever. However, it has also made it easier for scammers to find targets. And here in the U.S., that number is large enough to deserve consideration, not as a remote scenario, but as a daily occurrence in the lives of real people.
Who Gets Targeted?
Scammers generally seek out people who are: However, anyone can be a target, including:
- Recently divorced or widowed
- Experiencing a time of alonement
- New to online dating platforms
- Using more than one social media platform at the same time
This isn’t about being naive. Scammers know how to establish trust. Some victims report that the interaction felt 100% true to life, and could go on for months at a time.
Common Warning Signs of Online Dating Scam in the US
Here are some of the common warning signs of online dating scams to look for:
They’re Almost Too Perfect
The profile pictures are appealing, the background is intriguing, and they really appear to check every box. Scammers perfect their personas to attract as many potential victims as possible.
In this case, perform a reverse image search of their profile picture (use Google Images, TinEye). Well, it is often copied images of models or army soldiers.
They Move Very Fast Emotionally
Within a day or two, hours even, they’re throwing around pet names, talking about tomorrow, pouring out their souls. This tactic, commonly referred to as “love bomb,” will establish a deep emotional reliance very quickly.
A real connection takes time. Move in slow motion if a stranger never met you is claiming you’re soulmates after three days of texting.
They Always Have An Excuse As To Why They Cant Meet Up
Common excuses include:
- Offshore oil rig work
- Deployed military personnel overseas
- Doctors or engineers with international contracts
- Business owners traveling for extended periods
The perfect way to justify why staying on a video call is “hard” and meeting face-to-face cannot be done, at least not yet.
They Avoid Video Calls, or the Video Just Seems Off
Not being willing to do a video call is a huge red flag. First and foremost, if they agree to one, look for signs that the video might be fake, inconsistent audio, or a call that suddenly drops before rolling.
The conversation never stays on the dating app
Scammers like to quickly transition to WhatsApp, Telegram, or email. Dating apps have built-in fraud detection features. Private messaging apps don’t.
One tip-off is if they try to shift you off the platform on the first few messages.
- They Eventually Ask for Money
This is the moment that they have been building towards the entire time. The request typically follows weeks or months of building the relationship. Common scenarios include:
|
Scenario |
What They’ll Say |
|---|---|
|
Medical emergency |
“I need surgery and don’t have insurance” |
|
Stuck abroad |
“My wallet was stolen and I can’t get home” |
|
Business opportunity |
“I found a great investment – you should join me” |
|
Customs issue |
“My package is stuck and I need help paying fees” |
Common methods used by scammers include asking for payments via wire transfer, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or the payment app Zelle – all of which are irreversible or difficult to reverse.
Inconsistencies in Their Story
Details change. The city they knew changes. Their job title evolves. They lose track of things they “told you” earlier.
If something seems out of place, keep track of it. The story of the sincere man is the same story as before.
What to Do If You Suspect a Scam?
Indeed, trust your guts when something seems out of the ordinary. Here’s what you can do:
- Do not send money before you hear the story
- Never send personal information – copies of passports, SSN, or bank information
- Go straight to the dating platform and report the profile
- File a complaint with the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov or the FBI’s IC3 at ic3.gov
If you have already sent money, report it to your bank or financial institution immediately. Quick action gives the victim a fighting chance at full recovery, but recovery is not always an option.
